"Capitolism has made it this way"

This is seriously some bullshit. Yes, BULLSHIT. Tickets for the Chicago Alice in Chains show went on sale at 10:00 central time 04/26/06, yesterday. We were hitting up Ticketmaster.com at exactly 10:00 and were shut out everytime. At 10:04, every ticket was sold out. You have got to be kidding me. Funny thing is though, it's amazing how many people decided that after they bought them they didn't want them. At 10:38, there were 5 listings for tickets on Ebay starting at 299.99 with a BuyItNow for a mere 399.99. How generous of them. They rip me out of tickets (which by the way were only 28.00) that they only bought to resell and want to slap with with an exponentially higher mark-up. I love America, but these system-abusing, greedy, opportunist assholes should really have something done about them. Needless to say, even if I did find tickets cheaper, I won't buy them off Ebay for the pure principle.

Take a stand, f**k third-party ticket scalpers.

Layne Staley is turning in his grave.

Current Ebay listings

"You're one of my kind"

Johnny Depp is in the running to play Michael Hutchence in a new film about his life. Michael Hutchence was pretty sweet in my book until he suffocated himself trying to get off. Wierd.

Honestly though, we all knew something like this would eventually happen to him. I read something once that said when he started seeing Kylie Minogue, and she was really innocent that he took her into a hotel room a little girl and three days later she came out a woman. I would imagine the autoerotic asphyxition was only the tip of the iceberg.

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There was a time when I thought Chino was kind of hot. This is not one of those times.

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Black Sabbath convention in England.

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Duff McKagan to go on the Alice in Chains tour I WON'T be attending.

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Metal Hammer Golden Gods 2006

It's time again to vote for your Metal Hammer Golden Gods. If you remember, my boy Ville came out victorious last year with the Icon Award. Damn straight. This year Synyster Gates has been nominated in the 'Shredder' category. Show him and A7X some love and vote for Syn and the Rev at Metal Hammer.

Vote here

Last years winners:

Best U.K. Band: LOSTPROPHETS
Best Live Band: SLIPKNOT
Best International Band: THE USED
Best Underground Band: MESHUGGAH/MASTODON
Best Metal Record Label: Roadrunner
Incoming Award For Best Newcomer: NIGHTWISH
Best Video: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE's "Helena"
Riff Lord Award: Zakk Wylde (BLACK LABEL SOCIETY)
Shredder Award: Herman Li (DRAGONFORCE)
Best Metal Band: ANTHRAX
Best album: JUDAS PRIEST's "Angel of Retribution"
Icon Award: Ville Valo (H.I.M.)
The Spirit Of Hammer: BLACK SABBATH
The Golden God Award: Lemmy (MOTÖRHEAD)

Synyster Gates is the new Ville Valo

If I would, could you?

Alice in Chains have scheduled a few U.S. tour dates.

5/18 - West Hollywood, CA @ The Roxy
5/19 - San Diego, CA @ House of Blues
5/21 - Chicago, IL @ Metro
5/22 - Boston, MA @ Avalon
5/23 - New York, NY @ Bowery Ballroom
8/11 - Sturgis, SD @ 2006 Sturgis Motorcycle Rally

Who knows, maybe you'll see me at the Chicago show.

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VH1 to have a whole month of metal. Vh1 sucks, but at least they aren't MTV.

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It never occured to me until I read this that we would have 6/6/06 this year. I think they may be digging a little deep on this one.

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Roger Waters to play 'Dark Side of the Moon' in it's entirety, live. Sounds pretty hip.

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"I run for the bus dear, while riding I think of us dear"

I guess one tacky marketing ploy in a week just wasn't enough because I just saw a video of Gene Simmons auditioning girls for his new video called...ok, are you ready for this?...Sexercise. Seriously.

In the video he explains that Sexercise is a combination of sex and exercise. I know, I was confused too, I mean how would he ever come up with Sexercise from sex and exercise. That Gene, always keeping us on our toes.

I imagine the casting call read something like this:

WANTED: Young, verile, female for new sexy exercise video. Dancing experience preferred. Must be able to perform lude poses on the spot in front of 50-year-old-man and his 13 year old daughter. Sense of humor in regard to sexist comments a must.

Watch the video here

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Mick Jagger may pretend he's in a sitcom.

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You knew this shit wouldn't last. Especially since he had resorted to reading the comics on air.

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Some news about SUPERNOVA, the new idea for that show RockStar.

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"Oh these little rejections, how they add up quickly"

ThePhoenix.com has compiled a list of the 100 Unsexiest Men in the World. Again, some of these are subjective and it should have been titled 100 Unsexiest Men in Hollywood. I live in a city full of ugly men, but I guess naming #25 as "the guy who serves pizza at Sbarro in the mall" really wouldn't be too interesting.

I've listed the musicians below but you can see the entire list here.

#5 - Chad Kroeger - Nickelback
#6 - Mike Mills - REM
#11 - Michael Jackson
#13 - Mike D - The Beastie Boys
#20 - Raffi*
#24 - Paul Shaffer*
#25 - Axl Rose - Guns and Roses
#28 - Gerard Way - My Chemical Romance
#46 - Leif Garrett*
#48 - Scott Stapp - Creed
#50 - Ric Ocasek - The Cars
#51 - Bill Wyman - Rolling Stones
#59 - Clay Aiken*
#63 - John Popper - Blues Traveler
#77 - Meat Loaf
#78 - Joe Walsh - The Eagles
#80 - Art Garfunkel - Simon and Garfunkel
#85 - Richie "La Bamba" Rosenburg
#90 - Lemmy Kilmister - Motorhead
#99 - Kevin Federline*

* - while these people may questionably be musicians to you and I, they are, by definition, in the music industry

Also, I hope these aren't in order with 1 being the worst because I refuse to believe that Gerard Way is less sexy than Lemmy. It's just not possible. Bryan says Gerard looks like he smells like wiener. However, Lemmy has facial warts and facial warts are worse than wiener smell any day.

"I saw the sign"

Q Magazine has made a list of the Top 50 worst albums ever.

I am proud to say that I have only owned two of these. I must say thought that some of these are completely subjective, those of which I will not be revealing at that risk of embarrassing myself.

1. Duran Duran – Thank You
2. Spice Girls – All Their Solo Albums!
3. Various – Urban Renewal: The Songs Of Phil Collins
4. Lou Reed – Metal Machine Music
5. Billy Idol – Cyberpunk
6. Naomi Campbell – Babywoman
7. Kevin Rowland – My Beauty
8. Mick Jagger – Primitive Cool
9. Westlife – Allow Us To Be Frank
10. Tim Machine – Tin Machine Ii
11. Limp Bizkit – Chocolate Starfish And The Hot Dog Flavored Water
12. Tom Jones – Mr Jones
13. Bruce Willis – The Return Of Bruno
14. Terence Trent Diabolical – Neither Fish Nor Flesh
15. Various – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band – OST
16. Spice Girls – Forever
17. Bob Dylan & The Grateful Dead – Dylan And The Dead
18. Crazy Frog – Crazy Hits19. Goldie – Saturnz Return
20. Mariah Cary – Glitter OST21. The Clash – Cut The Crap
22. Robson & Jerome – Robson & Jerome
23. Alanis Morissette – Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
24. Lauryn Hill – MTV Unpugged 2.0
25. The Cranberries – To The Faithful Departed
26. Vanilla Ice – Hard To Swallow
27. Destiny’s Child – Destiny Fulfilled
28. The Rolling Stones – Dirty Work
29. Various – Christmas In The Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album
30. Michael Jackson – Invincible
31. Stevie Wonder – Woman In Red
32. Ace Of Bass – The Sign
33. Billy Ray Cyrus – Some Gave All
34. Fishspooner - #1
35. Puff Daddy – Forever
36. Kula Shaker – Peanuts, Pigs & Astronauts
37. Shania Twain – Come On Over
38. Chris Rea – The Road To Hell Pt2
39. Big Country – Undercover
40. The Others – The Others
41. Paul Simon – Songs From The Capeman OST
42. Babylon Zoo – The Boy With The X-Ray Eyes
43. The Travelling Wilburys – Vol 3
44. Kiss – Music From The Elder
45. William Shatner – The Transformed Man
46. Oasis – Standing On The Shoulders Of Giants
47. Ozzy Osbourne – Under Cover
48. Milli Vanilli – All Or Nothing
49. Neil Young And The Shocking Pinks – Everybody’s Rocking
50. Beck – Midnight Vultures

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The Black Crowes going on tour.

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My girl Fiona is going on tour too.

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I know a thing or three about fragrances. From what this says, buying KISS for women (yes, Kiss like the band) will make you smell like a concert whore.

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Corgans' favorite "Hole" puts on a dress and heels

I don't care what she puts on, I still can't get that image of her at the MTV VMA's when she threw that compact at Madonna and showed her ass with her, as Kurt Loder described, scarred-up chicken legs. That was classic.

Watch this classic moment here

The quality sucks, but you'll get a good laugh.

More pics

"Like a hobo I was born to walk alone"

First, I never knew that originally the lyric was 'hobo' and not 'drifter.' That's hilarious.

Now, down to business...

Whitesnake is preparing to realease a new live album if anyone cares. Yeah...me neither. However, I got comp. tickets to a Whitesnake show last year and it was a riot. People were REALLY into it. I am convinced he was lip synching but it was still fun. Someone I went with had a huge crush on David Coverdale from his Tawny days and wanted to meet him so we hung around back. When he came out only like 5 people charged him to get his autograph. When he was done signing, looking very exasperated like he was so overwhelmed, he started rushing people to hurry up and get signed. No one moved. Only 5 people out of probably 30 even stepped forward.

Don't let that get you down David; your new face looks great.

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Tool has announced tour dates in support of their new album, '10,000 days.'

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Scott Weiland and Duff McKagan will "guest judge" on Nashville Star. WTF?

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Jonathan Davis's wife is pretty good looking, but I think I could have hooked her up with some cellulite cream before modeling for Jaime Pressley's new clothing line.

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"Hung by a halo, and stabbed by horns"

If you haven't heard of Silvertide you are really missing out. They're a great band that have toured with some of the biggest names in rock music. They have started working on a new album after touring their first, Show and Tell for several years. I was fortunate enough to meet the whole band and talk to lead singer Walt Lafty for about 30 minutes and he was completely approachable and nice. Just don't tell them they sound like The Black Crowes.

Walt recently did an interview with Rock and Roll Universe about the new album, the writing process, and their incessant touring.

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MySpace

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Jada Pinkett Smith sucks at life and at singing.

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Trishelle from The Real World is dating Adam Duritz. For once I am wondering how she got him and not the other way around.

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Lacuna Coil frontwoman Christina Scabbia has a new man from Iowa. No, he doesn't look like a corn farmer; he's about the farthest thing from one.

Link - be sure to check the photo! Good fun for the kiddies.

Coheed and Cambria/Avenged Sevenfold w/ Head Automatica

Coheed and Cambria/Avenged Sevenfold w/Head Automatica
Louisville Gardens, Louisville, KY
April 13, 2006

For starters, Louisville Gardens had announced the wrong start time for the show which resulted in my missing almost all of opening act, Head Automatica's performance, but from what little I heard though, they sounded good.

Coheed and Cambria was the second performance for this particular date. They are fantastic musicians so there was no disappointment there. However, the set list was a little on the weak side. They played the favorites but I was looking for some Al The Killer. Claudio didn't have much interaction with the audience but with what little he said, he was sincere and completely adorable. As the show progressed the guillotine on stage opened up to reveal the blade and during "The Final Cut", as one might suspect, the blade fell. "Welcome Home" was the best song of the night which unfortunately got the "pit people" going, but that is a story for another time.

Avenged Sevenfold really put on a good show. They opened to the Beetlejuice theme which wasn't surprising considering they channeled Danny Elfman for the instrumental break on "The Wicked End". They mostly played songs off of City of Evil. The sound was off during the entire performance. The bass was too loud and the microphones sounded delayed from the music. "Trashed and Scattered" was the highlight of the night. A7X guitarist, Synyster, did his requisite solo which was amazing, but what impressed me was his playing one-handed by choking down the neck of the guitar. They're all talented performers, but as everyone knows, he really steals the show.

Best Part of the Night:

Towards the middle of the show I noticed a girl standing by herself in front of us who I thought I had seen somewhere. I did the sneak attack to take a look at her and it was Shadow's girlfriend, Valary who is also A7X's manager. I was so concerned with thinking of something clever to approach her with that I didn't even think about how I would continue the conversation, so needless to say, the encounter was brief. I had seen her twin sister Michelle, Synyster's girlfriend, earlier in the evening. Valary seemed very nice and smiled when I told her how much I liked the band. By the way ladies, if you were hoping they were homely, they're not; they're really cute.

I liked the movie, but I still think she sucks

Remember my ranting about "Betty Curse?" Well, well, well kids, guess who this "hard ass" turned out to be? It's the girl from 28 Days Later. Didn't a stunt like this almost ruin Garth Brook's career? Yeah, I thought so.

Betty Curse is none other than Megan Burns

Link - her acting agency's profile

Link - her MySpace...if you dare! (insert scary haunted house music here)

Link - someone who feels that same way I do

"Such a naughty nattie"

I wasn't going to post today, but I couldn't let this little issue go unresolved. American Idol should never have had anything to do with Queen. I'm too cheap to pay for cable, so, I only have 5 channels. With an utter lack of options, I am in the midst of watching tonight's episode. Queen has officially been butchered. Officially. Butchered.

My favorite part was when Ace wanted to completely, as Paula put it, "bastardize" We Will Rock You and Brian May told him that he "couldn't do that to his song." It was the best part of the show.

By the way, that Chris guy is NOT a rockstar even though he plays one on t.v.

You can lose weight, but you can't lose ugly

Unfortunately Kittie is still around. They've got two replacement members. Who did they replace? I have no idea, nor do I care. However, their gall is what indeed has brought us here today. In an new interview with lead singer, Morgan Lander (who to no surprise was the inspiration for the title of this entry), Ms. Lander comments that for Kittie, "it’s time for us to reclaim what’s rightfully ours …claim our female heavy metal throne."

I must have missed something in the past five years. Do they really even have a throne to reclaim? I hope they're not talking about the one next to Satan's right hand, because that one's already reserved for my mean ass.

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Bret Michaels is talking to Inside Edition about the recent shooting attempts.

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Jack White's new band The Raconteurs will now be called The Saboteurs. They're both pretty stupid if you ask me...

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Newish video of Fiona Apple on The Late, Late Show

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Coheed and Avenged this Thursday!

Yours truly will be attending the Coheed & Cambria and Avenged Sevenfold double headliner on Thursday. I am totally stoked. Prepare yourself for a full review of the show with hopefully an accurate setlist. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll even have a few pictures to show you folks.

Valo to drop 20 lbs. in 2 weeks.

According to Kerrang! (they get all the news don't they?) Ville is having some issues lately extending past being drugged and robbed in a bar in Minnesota and the legal one he is having with one of his neighbor's. A Finnish gossip magazine, as well as some potentially not so reliable web forums have announced that Ville and long-time fiance, Jonna Nygren have broken off their engagement.

Poor Ville. I know he's famous but I actually feel really bad for him. Not to get too deep or whatever, but Ville seems like one of those people who will never find happiness. He loves music but it keeps him from having a healthy relationship which in turn fuels his being miserable and his abilities. It sounds corny, but come on, the man loses so much weight a relationship ends that people think he has cancer and when he is with someone he can't write songs for shit. It's a complete catch 22.

*Ville and Jonna during happier times. I guess those tattoo initials instead of engagement rings weren't such a good idea afterall.

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Thanks to Kat Von D's official webpage for the picture, she rocks.

"Dig through the ditches, Burn through the witches"

***UPDATE***
Surprise, surprise...Bullet For My Valentine has been kicked off of the Rob Zombie tour despite an hours later apology from lead singer Matt Tuck. Like you didn't know that was coming.
***UPDATE***

Bullet For My Valentine is opening for Rob Zombie and Lacuna Coil on their current U.S. tour. I guess touring with Mr. Zombie is not all it's cracked up to be. Matt Tuck, singer for BFMV is none too pleased with the way things are going. Here's the long and short of things:

"We get just 30 minutes on this Zombie tour...so there's not alot of time...for (playing all the songs). As for the merch. Zombie makes us price match him...$40 for a t-shirt...we're only allowed 2 pieces of merch too which sucks. Unfortunately bein (sic) first on a tour like this sucks...I'm sitting on the f**ckn floor...coz (sic) Zombie takes all (the dressing rooms). Basically, we are shit to him."

So, I know Rob Zombie is like, practically a legend in his own right, and Matt Tuck is being a whiney ass but this really is a pretty crappy situation. Paying you dues is one thing, but give Bullet For My Valentine some credit; they've become fairly well-known from one EP. They hadn't even released and entire album yet and they were already on the cover of Kerrang!. It's pretty impressive even if you think they suck like I do.

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Sonic Youth will be performing on the show Gilmore Girls. What is this world coming to?

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Alice in Chains have chosen a new singer for their upcoming tour.

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Hey Bryan...Def Leppard are touring with Journey. I know you're totally stoked. Too bad the tickets will cost $3,000 a piece.

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The Gorillaz may lose their only member who's real name you remember.

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"Excuse all the blood, we're just having fun"

Ok...this may have just taken the cake. For once in my life, I am almost speechless.

This is Betty Curse. Yes, you read that right; Betty C-u-r-s-e. She's got ratted hair, slept-in eyeliner and boys in her band that wear Hamburglar masks. "I like Absinthe. I like Parisian prostitues...true ladies..." she told Kerrang! magazine. Give me a break...you're like 12. This girl is full of more shit than a Thanksgiving turkey.

This is the biggest, steamiest, smelliest pile I have ever seen. Isn't it a little early in the whole "goth revival" scene to already be creating people like her? I thought the trainwrecks started coming out of the woodwork after the trend started making money.

Everyone who reads this...trust me, click the link and sign up to watch the video. You won't believe what you're hearing or seeing. I hear one thing, I see another, and I don't understand either one.

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Official Website

"It's all coming back to me now"

I guess Dave Navarro is none too pleased with the way auditions for the new season of RockStar are going. These clowns that are auditioning have apparently gotten it confused with American Idol and have been singing Celine Dion songs and I'm fairly sure he mentioned something about a ukelele.

Note to the producers: Any self respecting rock singer would NEVER be on this show. It's a show aimed at people who don't know Eddie Vedder from Brandon Flowers. My favorite part of last season was watching girls in Express 'Editor' pants pretend they knew the words Proud Mary.
My co-workers assumed that I was totally into the show because they played rock music on it. This not only let's me know that they think all music with guitars and a bass falls into a general "rock" category, but also that they think I have bad taste in television shows. Thanks a lot you bunch of asses.

Ohhh, look at those scary rock and roll people. They look fierce.

This guy admitted to liking the show
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Ashy pits and giving "the finger" are cool

This isn't really news, just my own ponderings on how couples and pictures like this even come about. What a mess. I can only imagine how dull the conversation was between these two..."you're prettier", "no...you're prettier." "Well, you're a better singer!." "No, you are and you're clothes are cuter." "No, you're clothes are way cuter!." "You have the awesomest boyfriend! " "I know. I must be really mature for my age for a 27 year old to want to date me. I mean, it must be true love."

BORING! and stupid...

In the mean time the guys are comparing notes with one another on how in the hell they scored chicks that were barely legal despite the fact that they're total tools and highly unattractive.

Check out Hilary's arm pits...With all the Disney money you would think she could afford some Arrid XX Dry Clear.

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The anorexic guy from Silverchair cut his hair. Oh yeah, and they have a new album coming out...

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The Chuck Klosterman review from SPIN about the new GnR album was a fake. SPIN wanted to teach bloggers a valuable lesson...don't trust SPIN magazine.

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Metallica will be lending their voices to a new cartoon called "Deathklok" set to premiere in August on The Cartoon Network.

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